[Tenipuri] [BeKami, Shinji POV] [PG] In My Eyes

Original date: December 24, 2004

In my Eyes
Atobe/Kamio - Shinji POV
G? PG?

Songficlet. Song -> Ataris - Your Boyfriend Sucks.


You're better off without him, don't call him...
He's breaking your heart.
He's hanging with your best friend and your waiting there,
It's tearing you apart.

Shinji hated it. He hated the fact Kamio was head over heels for Atobe, hated watching the egotistical bastard lead his friend on and hated all the 'wonderful' Kamio had to say about him. He especially hated watching Kamio cry because Atobe had 'better things to do'.

Shinji didn't really understand what drew Kamio to Atobe, yeah, sure the guy was pretty, but that's probably all he had going for him in Shinji's mind. Who gave a fuck if Atobe kicked ass at tennis, he knew Kamio sure wasn't going to him for lessons. Kamio wouldn't listen to him -- he never really had when it came to relationships. If he had, he probably wouldn't be leading himself down a path of self destruction.

He lied to you a thousand times,
When I was there he kept you waiting.

"He stood me up. He said he'd be here four hours ago." Came a small, tinny voice from the other side of the telephone receiver. "Can you come get me? Please? It's the last time, I swear, Shinji. Promise."

Only it wasn't the last time, far from it. Even when Shinji had said he wouldn't keep going after the older boy, coming to get him in the dark and giving him a place to crash for the night to keep Kamio from getting grounded; he had. And it hurt sometimes -- all the praise Kamio would shower on Atobe that could've been directed at Shinji himself. Or maybe, it was that Kamio had never said "Thanks, Shinji. It's good to have a friend like you."

And I'm still here waiting there
To catch you if you fall.
I don't know why I care so much
When I shouldn't care at all.

Sometimes Shinji didn't really mind when Kamio was curled against his side, quietly sobbing into his chest. There wasn't really much he could do, it was nearly routine by now. Atobe and Kamio would get in another fight, they'd break up, Kamio would show up crying on Shinji's doorstep in the middle of the night and Shinji would let him in.

They'd just lay in the dark for a while, Kamio's head on Shinji's chest and Shinji rubbing his friend's back in attempt to calm him. Eventually, once the last of the redhead's tears had dried they'd talk quietly, about how Mori had pantsed Uchimura during practice, or An's new crush and onto random other things that had happened during the day.

Finally got the nerve to tell you
How much you mean to me you said that I was your best friend,
A real sweet guy, but that's all I'd ever be.

Kamio had been shocked when Shinji finally told him. "I.. You're... I mean.." Akira's head drooped, a shock of red strands covering his face from Shinji's prying gaze. "You're like my best friend, Shinji. I... you're always there when I need you. You're funny... you're sweet when you want to be but... I don't love you. I love him."

The silence had been awkward afterwards, but by now silence was something Shinji had gotten used to.

And I'm still here waiting there
To catch you if you fall.
I don't know why I care so much
When I shouldn't care at all.

And yet he was still there when Kamio would call at 3 am, still there to provide comfort and solace when the redhead needed it.

Shinji hated it, and he didn't understand it.

And he probably never would.